KMart Chronicles

Have you ever had moments in your life where you find yourself looking up to the ceiling and all around you in search for the candid camera?? On average, I have this “moment” several times throughout one single shift at KMart. The place is hilarious. Thus, I shall start and on and off series of the KMart Chronicles: The Funny Happenings in the Land of the Blue Light Special.

Thus, we begin chronicalling. Yesterday I worked from 1:30 to 10:30. It’s a cruddy way to spend your sunny/80 degree Saturday, but alas, we need the dough. Let me also START by saying that I am NOT a rule breaker in the work place. I am ALWAYS the one that reminds people to wear the slip proof shoes, takes extra time to give people back the correct change, and I always do everything the managers ask me to do. NOT LAST NIGHT. I WAS A REBEL!

It was 9:45 and no one was in the store. A lady in another department (who is a real hoot) asked me to help her take down sale signs and I quickly agreed. So we are carrying on while roaming the store and then I look down the aisle and my manager is standing there like we are getting ready to have a shoot off in the Ol’ West. Let me just paint a brief image of my manager for you. He is late twenties, loosing his dark hair, and walks around like he has a broom for his back bone. About 7 out of a million employees like him and he was sent here to kick the store into shape. I actually respect those people that are sent to kick places into shape because I can some what identify with them. But there is no reason to be an ass while kicking. So, he says, “Did you not hear the message over the loud speaker?” I faced him and promptly said, “No sir,” and then he turned around and left. Left dazed and confused, I finished taking down the sale sign and started to head for my department. Seconds later, I hear, “Kathryn to Jewelry. Kathryn to Jewelry. It is 10:04 and you have not shut down/counted out your register yet. Because of you, we will all be here late.” Seems pretty serious for a 4 minute violation, eh? So I quickly pounce from Infants to Jewelry.

A few minutes later, he came by my register to get the money bag. To his surprise, I had it all checked/counted/wrapped. But then he told me that I did it wrong, so I asked him how. After checking it and recounting it, he quietly mumbled that, infact, I had done it correctly and he had misjudged it. This is also the manager who, only two days earlier, told me that I shouldn’t be working at KMart because I had a college degree. No shit, Sherlock. KMart wasn’t exactly in my big plans. He and the other manager also decided that I should work in Jewelry beacause I had “skills.” (Yes, they did actually use the word skills in the conversation. No specific reference to responsibility, coolness under pressure, good people skills, etc. Just skills.) 

Ok. Back to the story. It was then my time to lock up/cover/turn out the lights on the jewelry display. I did them all in nine minutes and then straightened my area and clocked out. He came out to where the clocked out people were and asked me if I had done my duties and I simply said, “Yes.” And he said, “DO I NEED TO GO CHECK? YOU CAN”T DO THOSE THINGS IN THAT LITTLE AMOUNT OF TIME!” Well ladies and gentlemen, this is the part when you can go ahead and roll your eyes. I said, “Actually I did. Would you like to go back and check it like you did my money bag?” I was a smartass. I am NEVER a smart ass to my employers. NEVER. It is simply not professional. But now I cannot say that I was never a smart ass to an employer because I was. And I DON”T take it back. He simply unlocked the door and let us all go at 10:21. We weren’t suppose to leave until 10:30. Did I make us all stay late? NO.

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